Invaluable Lesson #1

A few examples in my past have led me to the belief that if I don't remember something the first time around, then it simply wasn't that important to me.

Now believe it or not, but I spent a lot of thought on that (first) sentence and I mean what I say.

A few examples in my past --> life experiences
have led me to the belief --> have drawn me to this conclusion
that if I --> just for me, at first it was any human with a decent memory
don't remember something --> we're all forgetful
the first time around --> which is why there are 2nds,...,(n+1)ths...
then in simply wasn't that --> in the hopes to uncomplicate myself that isn't really that complicated; i guess, not trying to draw any other (but what does this mean?)
important to me --> doesn't mean it's not important


And perhaps that's just a really obvious statement (it seems that way the more I stare at it while I'm writing this) but it's one that took me a while to fully appreciate.

I mentioned a few examples led me to this, so let me describe the first example that comes to mind. It has to do with one of my favorite ways to observe people, which is the way people talk. (Hence, title of blog, but there's more to that. I just find it pretty clever.)

I just think that if you really wanted (for whatever reason, if you have a crush on them, if it's material that's going to be tested on, ...) to know what somebody was saying - even if you don't have a good memory - then you somehow make the extra effort. Maybe even physiologically your brain receives a surplus of neurons with labels saying, "Important Date! Important Date!" on them. Who knows. [My textbooks are always trying to cutify the body's inner processings. I think some of it caught on heh.]

That being said, I can extend it to myself and not just other people. I try to ask people questions in which I really want to know the answer. I think people are always surprised that I remember what they say, but to me it makes sense that I should. Why ask about something that I don't really care about (e.g. school, work, ...) if I'm not going to remember anything about it?

Or another way I like to listen is hearing what people ask when they initiate the conversation. It either shows what's important to them, or what they think is important to you, etc. It just adds (or subtracts, heh) another dimension to that person because when you only have a few minutes with each person in life - isn't what you talk about what matters most? What you experience together? How much is wasted on things that don't really matter.

And as always, remember, there are exceptions!

...

So I definitely digressed a lot. I just wanted to establish my point that if I don't remember something the first time around (as with invaluable lessons), it means it didn't impact me enough and I simply have to wait for a hard (enough) learned lesson to make it be, well, poignant enough. [Er, because if it meant that much more to me, I would have remembered.]

Sigh, and I wanted to make the extra effort to write well. (So on Thursday I went to my bookshelf and found all these classics that I haven't read and now I just miss english class. I think my last real one was in 11th grade. Aw, Scher. Anyway I'm rereading Gatsby (aw, Scher) to slowly dip my feet into these books again, and then who knows where I'll venture to next. So any suggestions would be appreciated. I found All the King's Men and some feminist novels like Jane Eyre, Sense and Sensitivity, Wutherline Heights, oh and Anne of Green Gables)

DOH I did it again.

OK time to cut the fat. I wanted to write that my invaluable lesson #1 was just...friends. The way I am is that I have a lot of different circles of friends and at some point or another, I spend all of my time with them and when I start feeling excluded I'll just hop into another circle. It's easier to be "one of the gang" if you devote most of your time with them, but I guess I've always found something missing. Or maybe I just adapt well. Okay, both. I mean I'm still on good terms with everybody, but it's just, "oh, Karen's left again."

That being said last night I hung out with my ultimate(!) friends (hee). The ones that I haven't really hung out (24/7) since freshman year. Oh sure we see each other once a week in the fall for intramurals and One Night Stand (Tech thing) but I mean, more than that. Or maybe it's just because I can't room with any of them (gah, boys).

I mean, I remember two(!) years ago when Fridays there wasn't any question at all what I would be doing. (Not to mention Mondays, Wednesdays,Saturdays...) Sigh, and then I moved on. New circle of friends last year. And moved on again. New circle of friends now and new activities on Fridays.

But no! Not this Friday, I just happened to walk by the SAC fields and it's like the disc was calling to me. Really. :D Heh, I had ever intention of just lying down (I wasn't feeling well) and then I just stopped by to wave and hug some good friends ... and then I ended up playing a little, and playing Mafia. Sigh, I just love being surrounded by good company.

Anyway, this is more of a reminder of myself to not abandon groups of friends so easily. I'll try to set aside some time i.e. Fridays for ultimate, Saturdays for cooking with friends, .. wait ... agh... I don't live on campus! Noooo.