I wonder what depression feels like, or is really about. Is it just a continual never-ceasing downward slope of er..unhappiness? I mean, is it just no feeling of happiness in between at all? Or are the happy moments just so outweighted? Or is it fleeting moments of happiness?
[ACTUALLY! Before I continue on this, I remember my friend once told me something was wrong with me, as in how could I promise to write about something good, and then follow with the complete opposite, or as he liked to say, "a bunch of poo." Oh well, I guess I'll keep this in mind for next time because if I changed the title now, well then this little paragraph would not make any sense at all and readers (hah!) would make a fuss.]
So I actually started this post because I was thinking of a friend I know who I feel is particularly unhappy. Mostly, she, like me, am unsure of what makes her truly happy. I'm trying to describe a particularly, continual happiness; not the kind of fleeting happiness that comes when you score a goal or something. Something with permanence.
When I used to feel depressed and how I didn't know what made me happy (or some continued rant of my lack of happiness) my friend told me, "Happiness is relative." Meh, it's true enough I suppose. He continued that since it was relative, that there was no need for me to go searching about for my continual happiness because such did not exist. But I think his response is just my lack of skill in describing the continual happiness I'm sure I've felt before, and somehow lost.
What then, is the key to one's happiness?
I guess this depends on what you're unhappy about. That is, if you even know. Say, if you were unhappy about the way your life has turned out.
"Debbie just hit the wall
She never had it all
One Prozac a day
Husband's a CPA
Her dreams went out the door
When she turned 24
Only been with one man
What happened to her plan?
...[1]"
Or maybe if it's over an unsettled spat that still plagues you.
"I believe forgiveness is the key to your happiness[2]."
Meh, this is true enough I suppose. Spats are pretty unhappy deals.
Nah, I think the key to my (perhaps others as well?) unhapiness is that I'm unsure of what makes me happy. A continual happiness I can't properly describe. The fleeting happiness that pervades my life instead. Oh well, in times like this I like to turn to Goo Goo dolls, who say
"I know it's out there
I know it's out there[3]"
[1] 1985 by Bowling for Soup
[2] Affirmation by Savage Garden
[3] Here is Gone by The Goo Goo Dolls
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Depression is most noticible in the regard that all of the things you once enjoyed simply are no fun anymore. Its more than just moving past something, its like everything is a drag. Not fun at all. Atleast, that is my understanding from my limited experience and from what ive learned from people that have experienced it. So, there can be moments of happiness, but they will be quickly outweighed by other things, especially when a person is alone.
ReplyDeleteI cant tell you what brings a person constant happiness (if you ever find it, please enlighten me though), but the easiest way to fill yourself with as much as possible is just to go out, meet people, join clubs, do things, etc. Okay, off the top of my head, these are the things that I think most easily influence mood:
>Social Interaction
>Exercise
>Diet
>???
Naturally being with friends is enough to make anyone happy, and the feeling of inclusion in something is always nice so I need not go into it further. I have read that alot of experts (of some sort) say that daily exercise and eating healthy meals will not only improve health but improve your mood as well. Actually, I think it goes the other way - if you are happy your immune system is boosted which improves health.
Thats all sort of superficial...I suppose. Also realize that the mind is a very powerful tool that can influence pretty much everything else about your body. By saying that you had some happiness before that you just cant find and beating yourself up over it, it has a sort of snowball effect...negative thoughts build up until its a big snowball of not happy (which is really the opposite of what a snowball should be!).
*If you are not happy with something in your life, change it.*
People are naturally afraid of change, and are 'content' to stay with patterns that make them unhappy, dont let it happen to you! Life is too short to not make the best of every moment.
Also, I want to end this by mentioning that I really like your choice in music for this particular post. I got the Affirmation CD for my birthday when I was like 15 or so and am a big fan of the Goo Goo Dolls, as well as that song 1985. See, there was some happiness for me as I had a reminder of such good music!
glad you liked it, affirmation is one of the few cd's that i own :)
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