Just Right

I wonder what truly gives us our sense of belonging. Nestled within the depths of our persona there must be something that ties a bit of ourselves to something else. That speaks, even calls out to us. Isn't there?

So I was lying in bed thinking about a statement my friend said about two weeks ago. She mentioned how she always liked hanging out with people older than her. She deemed it was because she saw people her age, or even those younger than her as immature (or not even that, but was not at the same level as her). Therefore, she said that even when she was younger, she enjoyed talking to people older than her.

[Sigh. And now instead of sleeping (wah!) I'm writing. Just wanted to disturb the ambience of the post with my annoying voice to let you know I'm annoyed right now too. Hehe, maybe it's the sign of a true writer...and then you read what I write. Ok, enough of me. More of my thoughts.]

Anyway, her comment just got me to thinking about all sorts of good things - how I liked talking to people older than me, wait, how I liked talking to people younger than me to, how I used to always hang out with people older than me, how I used to be a role model to the kids I babysat, how I hang out with guys a lot, how I hang out with a really diverse groups of people, how I felt alone when I was younger but popular now. And then that got me thinking as to the kinds of people that I talked to. And then that got me thinking as to the development of cliques, of having a group to "belong" to, of people like me.

Hm, by like me I suppose immediately I think of interests. A friend of mine was interning last summer at a company that he had dreamed of working for since who knows when. (Well actually, I can probably guess, I'd like to say early high school or late middle school. Well, let me clarify, hrm, the type of job since then, the company probably high school. Irrelevant.) He told me that when he got to work there, it felt like he was at home, just being around people that shared the same interests as him. How he could talk about the same things with them and not have to explain himself. How they were like him.

It's that sense of belonging that makes me wonder what's out there in the world. I said for some time a couple of months ago* I was feeling a bit sad because I felt like there weren't really people for me to talk to. I guess it's moments like those that I wonder if there's something that would help me feel belonged to.

After all, once you know what you want, or what the problem is, you can go about fixing it. I suppose that's what a majority of life is, going around searching. This past Sunday somone said an interesting quote, paraphrased from his paraphrasing as, "You don't go through life not getting what you want. No. You get exactly what you want and realize, 'That's it?'" Come to think of it, I thought he was going to end with, "But that's not what you truly want." Which goes both ways I suppose.

It's true though. I remember reading those books, oh I can't remember which one exactly now, but it's one of those reoccuring themes, where ... Oh! Well I can think of one instance. It was in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone where Harry looks in the Mirror and the mirror will show exactly what you want/most desire. I remember feeling curious as to what I would see if I looked in the mirror because well, I don't know what I want. Being honest with myself of course, I really don't think I do. It probably is a sense of belonging though. Of being with my people.

Heh, I used to joke about that actually. If you look up Karen, reputable sources (Wikipedia, dictionary.com) will tell you that Karen is actually an ethic group of people who live off the southern coast of Burma. I used to joke that I'd have a whole group of followers just like me, where they would hail and worship me. Heh, my friend said that was a scary thought. I thought it'd be ... interesting to see. Another Karen in the world!

Wow I have truly digressed. It's okay, I've satisfied my writing (and by that I mean typing) desires and penned enough interesting thoughts to hopefully satiate my now 6(!) readers. Hehe. Six**!


* Time frame not exactly correct. It's a reoccuring feeling that comes every once in a while, as with a lot of people I'm sure.
** Six just reminded me of this *dorky* math joke.

So a student was having trouble with some simple algebra. This is how he did his math:

1 * [ sin(x) / n ] = ? (crosses out the n's)
1 * [ si(x) / 1 ] = ?
1 * [ six ] = ?
= 6!


Hey :P If I get 7 readers I'll say something else dorky, go tell all your friends now! ... Kidding.