cleaning

mmm i never realized how soothing it is to clean. it's mindless enough that you can let your mind wander yet extremely productive. perfect!

man my room is dusty.

on another note, i've realized that lately i haven't been talking so much in a group...again. hrm, i always felt like there was a "reason" before, such as nostalgia, thinking of someone else, etc.. but now i don't think i have a reason. have i run out of reasons?

before i talked to a friend, i thought it was i needed a new set of friends. those that shared the same interests (whatever that may be) as me because i thought some of my friends topics were superficial. but then that brought up the question, what is worth talking about. my friend confidently listed off a few, current events, philosophy, ... heh, figures.

mmmm but that wasn't the underlying problem. oh. so something else conflicting was that other topics (that i may have spoke up more in, idk, i certaintly was at least actively listening, heh) i used to enjoy but all of a sudden i didn't enjoy anymore. enjoy as in, actively listen i suppose. i mean, sure they're stupid and superficial, but you can't be serious all the time. i don't think it was a maturity issue or anything. something else.

BUT cleaning helped me figure out what it was! hehe. i think lately i have just had a lot of my mind and i needed some sort of outlet, and clearly my friends were not fulfilling that. i started picking up new interests (increase, input) and i didn't have anywhere to release my newfound interests (decrease, output) which led to a mind crisis not to mention storage problem (trouble).

BUT luckily i have a blog so now i have some form of recording my memories (writing, albeit nice to study handwriting changes, is kind of slow), plus i love this tagging feature. i need to find some way to implement it with my book...one day. :)

lastly, in just two days three separate friends tell me that they are indeed reading my blog (but not leaving comments) so what do you know! perhaps it's not just me. :) it definitely isn't me if you see this, heh. oh, i guess unless you're reading it a second time.

i'm feeling more cheerful lately. yes, it could be that school is out, but i think it has more to do with the cleaning. it lets me sort of clean myself out too, i get a chance to reflect and reminiesce. i've opened up boxes of notes from high school (!) and ghp (!). wow. it's been a while. i have more time now, hopefully to read and just figure things out.


ok back to cleaning, i want to be done before new years.